Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the line chart ilustrate information about the number of jo oporchunity in four sector the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020

overall, Manufacturing and healthcare are both sector largly decrise in the time periods. While, retail and Agriculture are sarply increase year by year.

In 1960 and 1980 , manufacturing is 20 millions ,but 1980 and 2020 it is fell don and end of the time period it is approxemenatly 14 millions. While, Healthcare is a start 6 millions in 1960 but 1980 to 2020 it is a similler way to 3 millions job.

Retail is start 5 millions in 1960 but year 2020 it is finish around 15 millions respectly. Healthcare is start 3 millions year 1960 . It is the higly growth year by year and it is the end of the year it is 5 millions. Retail and helthcare both of the same end is 5 million so this is a noticable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to summarize the main features of the graph, but it fails to accurately report the data. There are significant factual errors, such as claiming manufacturing decreased when the data shows a different trend, and confusing the labels for the sectors. The overview is inaccurate, as it misidentifies the trends for the four sectors. While the response covers all four sectors, the information provided is often contradictory or incorrect based on the provided graph. To improve, you must ensure that the data points you cite match the visual information exactly and that your overview reflects the most significant trends (e.g., which sectors grew and which declined).

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and often misused, such as the repetitive use of 'While' and 'but' to connect unrelated ideas. The referencing is unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus that supports the overall summary.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors such as 'ilustrate', 'jo oporchunity', 'largly', 'decrise', 'sarply', 'approxemenatly', and 'helthcare'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately; for instance, using 'finish' or 'start' instead of more precise academic terms like 'commenced' or 'reached a peak'. Many of the word choices are inaccurate, which hinders the clarity of the report. You should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary for describing data, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'climb', and 'plateau', and proofread your work to correct basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing is 20 millions'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. The sentence structures are mostly simple and often fragmented, lacking the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions. Developing the ability to write error-free complex sentences will also significantly improve your score.

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