Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The linear representation depicts the data about the count of occupations in economy's four distinct sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

From the first glimpse of the graph, it is abundantly clear that the number of jobs in manufacturing and retail sector accounted to be 15 and 5.4 millions respectively, in 1960. In the year 1980, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was roses up at 20 millions while, the retail sector increased at 10 million. Then, in 2000, there was a negligible difference between the jobs in both sectors which was only 15 and 16 millions. The manufacturing sector plunged at 14 million whereas, retail sector surge and reached at 16 millions in 2020.

Moving further, the agriculture sector was about same as retail sector in 1960. Then, it reduced at 4 million in 1980. It is constant till 2000 and then, slightly decreases by 1% in 2020. On the other hand, the healthcare sector accounted to be 1 million only but with the passage of time it inclined up and reached at 5 million in 1980. Further, in 2000, 11 million of jobs was in healthcare and in 2020 it reached at it peak which was about 16 millions.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employer for most of the period despite declining after 1980. In contrast, retail and healthcare experienced steady growth, while agriculture remained the smallest sector and showed a slight downward trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state that in 2000, the manufacturing and retail sectors were 15 and 16 million, but the graph shows manufacturing at approximately 18 million and retail at 14 million. Additionally, you mention agriculture decreased by 1% in 2020, which is not supported by the visual data. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on different sectors, and a summary overview. Cohesive devices such as 'Moving further', 'On the other hand', and 'Overall' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, though the connection between sentences sometimes feels like a list of data points rather than a cohesive analysis of trends.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'linear representation', 'negligible difference', and 'steady growth'. However, there are several word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'accounted to be', 'roses up', 'inclined up', and 'reached at it peak'. These errors are noticeable but do not impede overall communication. To improve, focus on using verbs that accurately describe trends (e.g., 'rose to', 'peaked at') rather than inventing phrasal verbs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and prepositions, such as 'was roses up', 'retail sector surge', and '11 million of jobs was in healthcare'. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate better control over tense consistency and eliminate basic errors in sentence construction.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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