Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graphical chart illustrates the count of occupations in economy's four distinct sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
From the first glimpse of the graph, it is abundantly clear that the number of jobs in manufacturing sector in 1960 was 15 millions which increased and turned out to be 20 millions by the year 1980. However, after that it plunged steadily for the next 4 decades and can be noticed at 13 millions. Moreover, count of occupations in retail sector was 6 millions in 1960 and steadily increased up to 16 millions in next 20 years.
After this, the agriculture followed the opposite trend as number of jobs decreased from 6 millions to 3 million in 20 years. Further, jobs of healthcare sector steadily increased up to 3 millions to 5 millions and then 15 millions in 2000 and about 16 millions in 2020.
To conclude retail and healthcare recorded overall growth in employers whereas, manufacturing and agriculture decline over the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the overview is somewhat weak; it lacks a clear synthesis of the overall patterns across the entire period. Some data points are slightly inaccurate or lack precision, such as stating manufacturing 'can be noticed at 13 millions' without specifying the year 2020. To improve, ensure that every trend mentioned is clearly linked to a specific time frame and that the overview highlights the most significant differences between the sectors rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the trends, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'After this' are used to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For instance, the transition between the manufacturing and retail trends could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the structure of the final paragraph is a bit simplistic. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring a more sophisticated progression of ideas would enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'plunged', 'steadily increased', and 'recorded overall growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'count of occupations' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures', and 'recorded overall growth in employers' when referring to the sectors themselves. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating the same phrasing for trends, such as using 'experienced a downward trajectory' instead of 'decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'in economy's four distinct sectors' (missing article), '15 millions' (should be '15 million'), and 'up to 3 millions to 5 millions' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor issues with article usage and pluralization throughout. The control of grammar is sufficient to communicate the main points, but the frequency of these small errors prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would be beneficial.
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