Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrate information about numerus opportunity in various sector of US in period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Starting with year 1960 were manufacturing jobs was at highest level as compare to other jobs and it constanly maintain higher level till year 2000 but it started fall down in year 1980. Also, in this year manufacturing jobs were markd at his top level around 20 million. In addition there is only one sector which was constanly grown up from there starting that was healthcare it was grown from 2 million jobs to above 15 million jobs.

In starting of year 1960 other jobs such as Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare were around near about 5 million. Moreover, Retail and Agriculture sector at his same level when in year 1960 but the retail sector significantly grown up from 5 million to 15 million and the agriculture sector drastically fall down from 5 million to 1 million till year 2000.

Overall, retail and healthcare sectors were noticed continously higher growth in terms of job in period of 6 year of time. Also, manufacturing sector was at top level but it fall down over the period of time and agriculture sector significantly goes down from

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. While you correctly identify the growth of healthcare and the decline of agriculture, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, stating it was at its highest level while simultaneously mentioning a fall starting in 1980. Additionally, the response ends abruptly mid-sentence, which leaves the overview incomplete. To improve, ensure that all data points are clearly described and that the summary provides a cohesive final picture of the trends observed over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Starting with year 1960 were manufacturing jobs' and 'In addition there is only one sector'. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, making the flow feel disjointed. The final paragraph is incomplete, which negatively impacts the overall coherence of the response. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') would help improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate to convey the basic meaning, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'numerus opportunity' instead of 'numerous opportunities' and 'constanly grown up' instead of 'showed consistent growth'. You rely on basic descriptors like 'grown up' or 'fall down' rather than more precise academic terminology like 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined'. Spelling errors, such as 'markd' and 'continously', also occur. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns related to data trends and ensure accurate spelling of common academic terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph illustrate'), incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'retail and agriculture sector at his same level'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing past data will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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