Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph presented illustrates the total number of works in the four sectors in the country of US between the year of 1960 from 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing was significantly rose and dramatically trends around 1980’s. The healthcare and Retail sectors contributed to continuously growth and increases. However the Agricultural remains declined after 15 years. Initially, Manufacturing reach the peak of 20 millions of job vacanies in the year of 1980 then it become slightly decreases in 2020. For Retail jobs went up around 15 millions in the year of 2000. However, for healthcare medications starting from 1960 they steadily increseases and inclined of 15 million jobs offer.
In contrast, Agricultural sector was the least among the jobs from 1960. More than 5 million jobs of total are waiting, in 1980 they starting to declined and remains steady between 1980 from 2000. Furthermore, in the year of 2000 they totally turn down for about 3 millions of jobs offer.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the trends in Manufacturing, Healthcare, Retail, and Agriculture. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, stating that Manufacturing 'dramatically trends' is vague, and the claim that it reached 20 million jobs in 1980 is not supported by the visual data provided. Furthermore, the description of the Agricultural sector is confusing, as the text mentions it 'remains declined' and 'totally turn down', which lacks precision. While the overview is present, the lack of accurate data interpretation and the presence of contradictory statements prevent a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'In contrast' and 'Furthermore' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is frequently disrupted by grammatical errors and unclear referencing. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The progression of ideas is present but often hindered by awkward phrasing, making the overall arrangement feel somewhat disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'total number of works' instead of 'total number of jobs', 'medications' instead of 'sector', and 'turn down' instead of 'declined'. These errors occasionally impede communication, as the reader must guess the intended meaning. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the lack of precision in these terms limits the ability to convey information clearly. More attention to standard collocations and accurate terminology is required.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies on a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but these are frequently marred by grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('Manufacturing was significantly rose'), incorrect verb tenses ('they starting to declined'), and awkward sentence construction ('the healthcare and Retail sectors contributed to continuously growth'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with apostrophes (e.g., '1980’s'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence structure prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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