Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrate details about rate of employments in four sectors of the economy in US between the period of 1960 and 2020.Overall it can be seen that manufacturing section decrease significantly after sometime while retail and Healthcare rose in umber of jobs.
In 1960, manufacture field job were the highest number at 15million it increases continuously and reaches to 20 million in 1980 and then experienced great loss of jobs at the end of period about 13 million left. In contrast with other sectors, they were at lowest in starting. Healthcare was at 3 million while retail sector starts with 6 million. Both sectors significantly increase and at the end of time frame these two divisions become the most popular sector for jobs.
While the Agriculture sector in US was at 6 million of employment rate in 1960 but it fall gradually during the time period and remain under the 5 million in the ending year 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the peak year, and the data points for the other sectors could be more precise. While the overview is present, it lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that the comparison between sectors is more explicit throughout the report rather than just listing trends for each sector individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. There is a logical progression from the overview to the specific details. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'In contrast with other sectors' and 'While the Agriculture sector' are used, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the transition between the manufacturing trends and the other sectors. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'manufacture field job' instead of 'manufacturing sector jobs' and 'at the end of time frame'. The student relies on basic terminology like 'increase' and 'decrease' repeatedly. To improve, the student should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined steadily', and ensure correct word forms are used consistently throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graph illustrate', 'manufacture field job were'), missing articles ('in US'), and incorrect preposition usage ('at 6 million of employment rate'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors are persistent. To improve, the student should focus on basic subject-verb agreement, consistent tense usage (past tense for historical data), and the correct application of articles and prepositions in an academic context.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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