Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph tracks information about the number of careers in four categories of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the retail jobs raised consistently from 1960 to 2020.However, there seen a highest level of employment of manufacturing in 1980 and after that it dropped slowly. Furthermore, agriculture section faced sharp decline from 1980 to 2020.
By looking at the graph, what stands out is there is improvement in healthcare profession over the years as it start slowly from few numbers and then continue to rise up about 16 million jobs till 2020.In addition, in 1980 highest level was attained by manufacturing job about 20 millions. Retail category also demonstrate betterment starting from 7 million jobs in 1960 to 17 million jobs in 2020.
As it is illustrated from graph that agriculture sector undergo decline 3 million in 1980 and continued fall downward over the remaining years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. However, the report lacks a clear, cohesive overview paragraph. While you mention some trends in the second paragraph, an 'overall' summary should ideally be a distinct paragraph that highlights the most significant changes, such as the growth in healthcare versus the decline in agriculture. Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise, such as stating manufacturing peaked in 1980 when the graph shows a different trajectory. To improve, ensure you clearly distinguish between the overview and the detailed body paragraphs, and double-check your data extraction to ensure accuracy when reporting specific figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'By looking at the graph, what stands out is...' and 'As it is illustrated from graph that...'. The flow between sentences could be smoother; for instance, the transition between the general trends and the specific data points in the second paragraph is abrupt. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this', 'these') is used more effectively would help improve the logical progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'raised', 'drop', and 'start', and there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'careers' instead of 'jobs' or 'sectors', and 'betterment' which is not the most natural choice in this context. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant surge'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding articles ('the agriculture section', 'the graph'), verb tenses ('there seen a highest level'), and sentence structure ('as it start slowly from few numbers'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack necessary prepositions, which occasionally forces the reader to re-read to understand the intended meaning. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often marred by these errors. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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