Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the count of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, there were about 2.5 million jobs in healthcare. Both retail and agriculture had a little more than 5 million jobs in 1960. Moreover, in the same year, manufacturing had almost thrice the number of jobs than that in retail and agriculture. Next, in 1980, the number of jobs in healthcare increased to 5 million. While agriculture related careers lowered by around 3 million, those of retail grew by almost 5 million. Manufacturing jobs surged to 20 million in 1980.

Moving further, in 2000, number of medical professionals skyrocketed to a little over 10 million. The count of people engaged in agriculture remained constant at 2.5 million from 1980 to 2000. The number of retail jobs increased to 15 million in 2000 while that of manufacturing decreased to 17 million. In the year 2020, health sector jobs and retail related jobs both reached an equal of a little over 15 million. The number of jobs in agriculture reduced slightly becoming equal to what it was back in 1960. The number of manufacturing related jobs lowered steadily to 13 million in 2020.

Overall, the graph gives an insight into the changing trends in job distribution in the US focusing on 4 sections of economy. While in 1960, manufacturing jobs were the highest in number, by 2020, healthcare and retail related occupations took over.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response effectively covers all four sectors and tracks their changes over the 60-year period. You have successfully identified the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and highlights the most significant shift in the data. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are described with precision; for example, stating 'almost thrice' is slightly vague compared to the specific figures provided in the graph. Additionally, ensure that comparisons are consistently made throughout the body paragraphs rather than just listing data chronologically.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on different time periods, and a summary overview. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'Moving further', 'In the same year', and 'While', which help connect the sentences effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the chronological stages of the data. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences is always smooth; some sentences feel slightly list-like, and more varied linking phrases could enhance the flow further.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, using terms like 'skyrocketed', 'surged', and 'steadily' to describe trends accurately. This shows an awareness of style appropriate for an academic report. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'agriculture related careers' (which should be 'jobs in the agricultural sector') and 'equal of a little over' (which is slightly awkward). Expanding your range to include more precise academic collocations would help elevate the score to the next level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are error-free, and your control of grammar is generally strong. There are occasional minor errors, such as missing articles ('in number of medical professionals' should be 'the number of medical professionals') and slight issues with preposition usage. These errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated complex structures, such as reduced relative clauses or more varied passive constructions, while maintaining your current level of accuracy.

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