Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the Unites States between [redacted phone].
Overall, the jobs of manufacturing sector was high and at the end it decreased slightly whereas agriculture sector declined throughout the decades. Apart from that retail, and healthcare sectors were low in the beginning then gradually increased.
On the one hand, the manufacturing sector was the highest in the year 1960 with 15 million jobs, then after two decades it peaked up to 20 million. then there was a gradual fall in 2000 and 2020, approximately 16 to 13 million. Whereas, agriculture was the least sector from the beginning to till end, in 1960, around 6 million jobs but there was a gradual fall around 2 million jobs in the 2020.
On the other hand, retail and healthcare range was quite similar, from less to high. Retail was approximately 6 million and healthcare was 2, then both climbed up gradually and at the end in 2020, both reached a same level with 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the peak in manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear, cohesive overview of the most significant trends. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated. For instance, the description of the agriculture sector as 'least' is accurate, but the explanation of the trends lacks depth. To improve, ensure that the overview highlights the most striking differences or similarities across the entire period rather than just listing individual sector movements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and occasionally awkward, such as the use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to contrast sectors that are not necessarily opposites. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing (e.g., 'the least sector') is slightly unnatural. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between the description of different sectors would enhance the flow and logical progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. Phrases like 'jobs of manufacturing sector was high' and 'peaked up to' are slightly unnatural or redundant. The student relies on basic descriptors such as 'low', 'high', and 'gradually increased'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant surge'. Additionally, ensure correct word forms and collocations, as some phrasing feels slightly unidiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the jobs of manufacturing sector was high'), missing articles ('the agriculture sector'), and awkward phrasing ('the least sector from the beginning to till end'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with articles, pluralisation, and verb tense consistency throughout the report.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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