Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of job measuring in millions, in four sectors of the US economy-manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare-from [redacted phone].
In on 1960, manufacturing sector gave employment to around 15 million people, making it the largest sector in 1960, while retail and agriculture each contributed employment with approximately 6 million jobs. Healthcare had the least employees, at about 2 million.
Overall, manufacturing sector had a gradual increase in the number of jobs at the beginning of the period, but reduced after peaking in 1980. On the other hand retail and healthcare had a steady increase, while agriculture showed a continuous decline and became the smallest sector by 2020.
By 2020, manufacturing sector, had a decline in the number of jobs, from having 15 million jobs in 1960 to approximately 12 million by 2020, while retail and healthcare grew rapidly during this period, from having 6 million and 2 million to 16 million each by the year 2020. The agriculture industry facing a great decline.
By 2020 retail had become the largest employer, with around 14 million jobs, and healthcare close to 13 million. Manufacturing had fallen to about 10 million, while agriculture declined to almost zero.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and comparing the four sectors. However, there are significant inconsistencies in the data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 and 12 million in 2020, but later claim it fell to 10 million. Similarly, the figures for retail and healthcare in the final paragraph contradict the earlier statement that they reached 16 million. These inaccuracies in data representation prevent the response from achieving a higher band, as the summary of information is not entirely reliable or consistent.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific trends. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the start of the period to the end. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal flow within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by the contradictory data points mentioned earlier, which makes the logical progression feel slightly disjointed in the final sections.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'contributed employment', 'steady increase', and 'continuous decline'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of job measuring' (should be 'number of jobs measured') and 'The agriculture industry facing a great decline' (missing a verb). While you attempt to use varied vocabulary, the inaccuracies in reporting the data figures slightly undermine the precision of your lexical choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'In on 1960' (preposition error), 'manufacturing sector, had a decline' (unnecessary comma), and 'The agriculture industry facing a great decline' (fragment). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You have a basic grasp of sentence construction, but more attention to subject-verb agreement and punctuation would improve the overall accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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