Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph compares the number of occupations in four different sectors of economy from 1960 to 2020 in the US.
Overall, retail and healthcare sectors recorded the highest jobs during the period, whereas agriculture accounted for the lowest jobs other than three, where it sectors. In addition, manufacturing sector declined over the period.
An analysis of the image reveals that, the agriculture sector recorded 6 million jobs in 1960, while the figure witnesses a dramatic increase in 1980 and recorded 15 million jobs in 2000, the figure reached around 16 million jobs by 2020. A similar pattern is observed in healthcare industry where it accounted for around 3 million jobs in 1960, then it rose gradually to 5 million jobs in 1980, and the figure climbed to 16 million jobs in 2020.
From the image it is evident that, the agriculture sector accounted for 6 million jobs approximately in 1980, the figure experienced a dramatic decrease in 1980 and recorded around 4 million jobs in 1980 and remained stable until 2000 before falling to 2 million jobs approximately in 2020. Moreover, manufacturing department recorded 15 million jobs it rose to 20 million in 1980, thereafter it dipped to around 17 million jobs in 2000, and the figure reached 13 million jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features, but there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the description of the agriculture sector is contradictory, stating it rose to 15 million in 2000 while later claiming it fell to 4 million in 1980. These factual errors suggest a misunderstanding of the graph's trends. Furthermore, the overview is slightly confusing, particularly the phrase 'lowest jobs other than three, where it sectors.' While the response identifies the main sectors, the lack of clarity and the presence of contradictory data points prevent it from fully addressing the task requirements effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by confusing phrasing and contradictory information. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition' and 'Moreover,' but they are sometimes applied mechanically or in contexts that do not support the progression of ideas. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four categories. The overall structure is present, but the internal logic within paragraphs is weak.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, using terms like 'dramatic increase,' 'rose gradually,' and 'remained stable.' However, there are instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'manufacturing department' (instead of 'sector') and 'the figure witnesses a dramatic increase.' There is also a lack of precision in describing the data, which limits the range of vocabulary used to express trends effectively. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lexical control is inconsistent and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement, such as 'the figure witnesses' (should be 'witnessed'), and awkward sentence construction, such as 'where it sectors.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas appearing after introductory phrases. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. A greater focus on sentence structure and proofreading is needed.
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