Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, the number of jobs in the healthcare rose steadily. However, the jobs in manufacturing field dropped.
To begin with, in 1960, there were 15 millions jobs in the field of the manufacturing by 1980 it increased steadily and reached 20 millions but after that it dropped sharply by 2020 there were around 12 millions jobs. In the sector of agriculture number of jobs had also decreased gradulally. In 1960, there were 5 millions jobs by 2020 they had reached approximately 3 miilions.
Furthermore, in the field of the healthcare and the retail numbers of jobs were rose steadily. In 1960, there were 2 millions jobs in the field of the healthcare and 6 miilions in the retail by 2020 same numbers of jobs were avalible in both fields around 16 millions jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, the description of the manufacturing sector contains factual inaccuracies regarding the timeline of the peak, and the comparison between healthcare and retail is slightly confusing as it suggests they reached the same number in 2020 without clearly distinguishing their individual trajectories. While the main features are reported, the data selection could be more precise to better highlight the significant shifts over the 60-year period. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are accurate and that comparisons between sectors are clearly articulated to provide a more comprehensive overview.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'However' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of information within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'same numbers of jobs were avalible in both fields' which lacks a smooth transition from the previous sentence. The use of paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive devices to create a more natural, sophisticated structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the reader to understand the trends. There are some spelling errors, such as 'gradulally' and 'miilions,' and some awkward phrasing like 'in the field of the healthcare.' The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'increased' and 'dropped.' To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'remained stable,' and ensure greater accuracy in spelling and word choice to avoid minor errors that distract the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the healthcare,' 'the retail') and subject-verb agreement ('numbers of jobs were rose'). Some sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which affects the clarity of the information. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent verb tense usage and correct article placement will significantly improve the accuracy and professional tone of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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