Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The givens line graph depicts the information about the category of jobs in different sections of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.
As an overall perspective, It is clearly visible in the chart that the highest trends of manufacturing in initial year while lowest of agriculture in 2020.
Moving into the details, In 1960 the growth in primary sector is only 5 million than it dropped to 4 million in the year 1980 in addition it remains stable from 1980 to 2000 also it slightly decreased to 2 million in 2000. According to year 1960 the highest growth in manufacturing with 15 million than it grew up to 20 million in 1980 after that declined to 17 million in 2000.Subsequently,It again decrease to 13 million in the year 2020.
Turning to the rest of the information, the growth in retail includes6 million in the year 1960 than it shows growth in upcoming years . In 1980, It reached to 10 million again it rose up to 15 million in the year 2000. Furthermore, It slightly remain stabilised in year 2020 with 16 million. Eventually, Healthcare includes 3 million in the year 1960 than it climbed to 5 million in the year 1980 similarly it reaches to 11 million in 2000 also in 2020 it reached to 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years mentioned. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the main trends, such as the significant growth in the service-related sectors versus the decline in manufacturing. The description of data is somewhat mechanical, listing figures without sufficient synthesis or comparison. To improve, you should focus on grouping the sectors by their performance (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) and ensure the overview highlights these major movements rather than just mentioning the highest and lowest points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive and sometimes misused, such as 'than it dropped' instead of 'then it dropped' or 'in addition it remains'. The transition between sentences feels disjointed, and the logical flow is hindered by the repetitive structure of 'in the year X... then it...'. Using a wider variety of linking words and improving the referencing of data would help the progression of ideas feel more natural and sophisticated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'grew', 'dropped', and 'reached'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the givens line graph' (should be 'the given line graph') and 'remain stabilised' (which is redundant). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'a steady climb', or 'a downward trend', to describe the data more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'it again decrease' instead of 'it again decreased'), missing articles, and punctuation errors, such as the inconsistent use of commas and capitalization after periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage for past data is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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