Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph here illustrates about the statistics about the Jobs during 1960 to 2020 in four sector of the United State

Overall, retail and healthcare sector had shown some growth while manufacturing and agriculture sectors has faced down word growth.

In the healthcare sector around 2 million jobs were occupied which shot up to more than 15 million in 2020, while having 5 million jobs in 1980.

same with the retail sector which also end up with the same jobs number in 2020, but in 1960 it had provide more jobs than healthcare with the number of almost more than 5 million. Retail sector was ahead of healthcare till 2020, where in 2020 both the sector had share the same number.

Whereas, Agriculture sector had face down word slop from 1960 to 1980, where number went from around 6 million to almost 3 million. Afterword from 1980 to 2000 it stayed the same as it was in the 1980.

But after 2000 it had experience a minor decrease. In the case of manufacturing sector, it has a different pattern than the other sectors.

Where number of it increased from 15 million to 20 million during the time span of 1960 to 1980

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response provides a summary of the main trends, but it lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, the statement that the retail sector 'end up with the same jobs number' as healthcare is vague, and the description of the manufacturing sector is incomplete, as it only covers the period up to 1980 despite the graph extending to 2020. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant trends. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately transcribed and that the entire time frame is addressed for every sector mentioned.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the use of 'Afterword' instead of 'Afterwards' or 'After that'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing (e.g., 'same with the retail sector') is informal. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring that the logical progression of the information is clear throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'shot up' and 'down word growth' (downward slope) are either informal or contain spelling errors. There is a limited range of vocabulary used to describe trends; for example, 'increased' and 'decrease' are used repeatedly. To improve, incorporate more precise academic vocabulary such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked', or 'declined significantly'. Additionally, pay closer attention to word forms and spelling to avoid errors that distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing and agriculture sectors has faced'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'it has a different pattern'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with sentence boundaries. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing historical data. Proofreading for common errors like 'down word' versus 'downward' will also significantly improve the quality of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.