Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph show about the number of jobs in the US. The four sectors of the economy in 1960 and 2020. Their are four sectors the Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

Overall, in US the Manufacturing grown more then other economy sectors. The Agriculture decreased throughout the period. In contrast , Healthcare showed significant increase.

In 1960 , Manufacturing was on top with 15 millions. followed by ,Retail and Agriculture represented at 5 millions each and Healthcare stood at 2 millions.

After a few fluctuation, Manufacturing rose rapidly to 20 millions from 1960 to 1980.

There was decreased experienced by the Manufacturing between 1980 to 2020 and number hit low of 13 millions.

The Agriculture showed opposite trend to Retail. Between 1960 and 2000, Retail increased significant to 15 millions while Agriculture decreased to 3 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified some main features, such as the growth in Manufacturing and the decline in Agriculture, the analysis is incomplete. You have not fully covered the data for all sectors across the entire period, and the summary lacks a clear overview of the trends. The information is presented in a fragmented way, and the failure to reach the word count means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you provide a comprehensive overview and include all relevant data points to support your descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by the lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt, and the use of linking words is minimal. For example, the jump between the overview and the specific data points lacks a clear introductory phrase. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, making the flow of information feel mechanical. To improve, use a wider range of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' to connect your ideas more fluidly and improve the overall structure of your response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You rely on simple verbs like 'grown', 'decreased', and 'rose'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'number hit low' instead of 'reached a low' and 'increased significant' instead of 'increased significantly'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'a marginal increase'. Expanding your range of adverbs and adjectives will also help you describe the trends with greater accuracy and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('The line graph show', 'Their are four sectors') and article usage ('in US'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas used in phrases like 'followed by ,Retail'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your writing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and practicing the use of complex structures like relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to add variety to your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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