Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of employments in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare industries of the income in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the data of manufacturing was highest in 1980 about 20 million after that fallen up to 13 million in 2020, while agriculture showed least economy in four years.

In 1960, manufacturing provided 15 million job opportunity while, in 1980 there was significant inclined in income about 20 million. By next two years figure decreased 16 million then 12 million finally.

By contrast, Retail was experienced 6 million jobs in 1960 after that in 1980 employment was 10 million. It rose 15 million in 2000 whereas in 2020 it is becoming a largest employer about 16 million.

Furthermore, Agriculture was biggest inclined throughout the year about 6 million in 1960 meanwhile, it provided 3million jobs in 1980 and 2000 then it fallen 2 million in 2020.

In healthcare sector, 3million job opportunity in 1960, then it reached 5million then 12 million in 1980 and 2000 while, it arrived 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends for the four sectors. However, the overview is somewhat inaccurate; for instance, stating that agriculture showed the 'least economy' is unclear and confusing. The data reporting is inconsistent, with some figures being misstated or missing. For example, the description of manufacturing trends is disjointed, and the claim that retail became the 'largest employer' in 2020 ignores the healthcare sector, which also reached 16 million. The response lacks a clear, accurate summary of the overall trends, which is essential for a higher band score. More careful selection of key data points and a more precise overview are needed to fully satisfy the requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'after that fallen up to' and 'by next two years' create a disjointed flow. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between sentences is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors. While there is an attempt to use transition words like 'By contrast' and 'Furthermore', the overall cohesion is limited by the awkward phrasing and lack of smooth transitions between the data points. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the readability of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'number of employments' (should be 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels'), 'industries of the income' (which is nonsensical), and 'biggest inclined' (which is grammatically incorrect). The student relies on repetitive structures and basic terminology. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'experienced a downward trend' or 'reached a peak of'. The current range is just adequate to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with verb tenses ('Retail was experienced'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure ('By next two years figure decreased 16 million'). The student relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty or contain errors in word order and preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To reach a higher band, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that tenses are used consistently when describing past data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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