Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The data provides amount of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 till 2020.

Firstly, if we take the highest amount jobs that people are working till 1980 is manufacturing it was started at 15 millions employees and by time 1980 it touch almost 20. Moreover, after this it was started to fall and finished at almost 12.5. On the other hand, retail was growing steadily it was at 5 million by the time 2020 it was at 15.

Secondly, agriculture was the lowest sector chose by employees it was 5 million and it was finished at around 2. On the other hand, healthcare was the most constant growing sector it was started at only 2 in the 1960 and by the time it was reached almost 15 million at end of the giving year.

In conclusion, by the time 1960 the most lovable sector was manufacturing and the most sector who got less jobs is agriculture. On the other hand, retail and healthcare was the only sector who are constantly growing and by time 2020 they were finished at almost same as 15 million recruiters.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. However, the response lacks a clear overview, which is a requirement for a higher band score in Task 1. While you mention the sectors, you do not synthesize the information to highlight the most significant trends (e.g., the contrast between the decline of manufacturing/agriculture and the growth of retail/healthcare). Additionally, some data points are imprecise, such as 'almost 20' or 'almost 15', which could be more accurately described using the provided graph. To improve, ensure you include a distinct overview paragraph that summarizes the overall trajectory of the data without listing specific figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'by time 1980' or 'by the time it was reached'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the conclusion where you refer to 'the most lovable sector'—a term that is inappropriate for a formal data report. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'started', 'finished', and 'growing'. There are also instances of inappropriate word choice, such as 'lovable' to describe a sector and 'recruiters' when referring to the number of jobs. To reach a higher band, you should use more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'surpassed'. Additionally, ensure you use nouns and verbs correctly; for example, 'the amount of jobs' should be 'the number of jobs' because jobs are countable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with articles ('the most sector'), verb tenses ('it was started to fall'), and prepositions ('by time 1980'). Sentence structures are generally simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors that can cause slight confusion for the reader. For instance, 'the most sector who got less jobs' is grammatically incorrect and awkward. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of time markers will help improve your accuracy. Try to vary your sentence structure by using more complex clauses to describe the relationships between the data points.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.