Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the fluctuations in the number of jobs in the four sectors of the economy in the US between the years 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that employment in the Retail and Agriculture sectors surged from the year 1960 to 2020.By the year 2020, Retail and healthcare sectors has the highest number of the employment proportions.
To commence with, there were highest number of jobs in manufacturing sector in the year 1960 (15) which increased gradually to 20 in 1980. But later, the number of jobs were noticeably decreased to around 12 in the year 2020.
Furthermore in 1960, the number of jobs in the retail and agriculture sector were relatively same. It can be seen that the number of jobs were increased dramatically to more than 15 in the retail sector in 2020 , where as there was a sudden decrease in the number in the agriculture sector around 1.
In addition to this ,there were least number of jobs (1) in the health sector in 1960 but after 60 years it skyrocketed to more than 15.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying key trends such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, it claims retail and agriculture both surged, whereas the graph shows agriculture declining significantly. Additionally, the data points are sometimes imprecise or misread (e.g., stating agriculture decreased to around 1, which is unclear). While the main trends are identified, the lack of precision in reporting data and the slight misinterpretation of the agriculture trend prevent a higher score. The response would benefit from a more careful analysis of the specific data points provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition to this' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate for an academic report, and the information is presented in a way that is easy for the reader to follow, despite some minor issues with the logical connection between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at using more sophisticated verbs like 'surged', 'skyrocketed', and 'fluctuations'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'employment proportions' and 'relatively same'. The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. Spelling is generally accurate, but the overall lexical control is limited, and the student relies on somewhat repetitive structures when describing changes in the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Retail and healthcare sectors has', 'number of jobs were noticeably decreased') and awkward phrasing ('there were highest number of jobs'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some spacing issues before commas. While the errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms. Increasing the accuracy of basic structures and refining the use of articles would improve the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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