Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, manufacturing jobs had the highest impact on the economy of the US, while other sectors such as retail and healthcare grew over the years and agriculture kept declining.

In the year 1960, the manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs. In 1980, it increased to 20 million, which is the highest number of jobs from 1960 to 2020 compared to all the other sectors. However, after 1980, manufacturing jobs started to show a decline, with around 16 million jobs in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Retail jobs, on the other hand, had very few jobs in 1960, with around 6 million only. But it kept climbing. In 1980, the retail sector had 10 million jobs, and in 2000, it had 15 million jobs. In 2020, it surpassed the manufacturing sector, having over 15 million jobs. In the same year, the healthcare sector also had a little over 15 million jobs. But in 2000, it was around 11 million. In 1980, the healthcare sector only had 5 million jobs, and in 1960, it was around 3 million only. The agriculture sector kept declining after 1960, when it had almost 6 million jobs. But in 1980 it decreased to around 4 million. In 2000, it stayed the same, but in 2020, it had the lowest jobs, with merely 2 million jobs only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting when retail surpassed manufacturing. However, the response is somewhat descriptive, listing data points chronologically rather than grouping them by trend or significance. To reach a higher band, focus on synthesising the information more effectively. For example, instead of listing every decade for each sector, group the sectors by their trajectory (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined). This would demonstrate a more analytical approach to the data, which is expected for Task 1.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organised, with a clear introduction and body paragraphs that follow a chronological structure. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'However', 'on the other hand', and 'In the same year', which help the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the paragraphing is slightly unbalanced; the second paragraph is quite long and dense. Breaking this into two paragraphs—perhaps one for the sectors that grew and one for those that declined—would improve the overall structure and flow. Additionally, some transitions feel a bit repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In [year]'.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'surpassed', 'declining', and 'economy'. There is some repetition of basic verbs like 'had' and 'increased'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and nouns related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'remained stable'. The word choice is generally accurate and does not impede communication, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score. Expanding your repertoire of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will help elevate your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a good control of basic sentence structures, and your writing is generally easy to follow. You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, though the complexity is somewhat limited. There are a few minor errors, such as 'the highest number of jobs... compared to all the other sectors' (which is slightly awkward) and the repetitive use of 'only' at the end of sentences (e.g., '3 million only'). While these errors do not impede meaning, they highlight a need for more varied and precise grammatical structures to achieve a higher band score.

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