Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph demonstrates data about how many jobs are available in the manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare sectors in the United States from 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the sector with the most available occupations is the manufacturing sector during nearly most of the period despite decreasing around the year 1980. By contrast, healthcare and retail showed a steady growth, while employment in the agriculture sector fell continuously into being the smallest sector by 2020.

The manufacturing field had the highest number of jobs in 1960 with 15 in million, then peaking in 1980 by 20 in million before sharply falling to only 12 during the period of 1980 and 2020. While the agriculture had a relatively moderate number of available works in 1960, it dramatically lowered during the rest of the 60 years.

Although, the number of occupations provided in the retail and healthcare rose steadily all along the years, starting at 5 and less than 4 in 1980 up to a peak in 2020 with a similar number of nea

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a clear overview of the trends, identifying the main features such as the dominance of manufacturing and the decline of agriculture. However, the response is incomplete, as it cuts off mid-sentence at the end. While the key features are highlighted, the lack of a conclusion and the abrupt ending prevent a full development of the data. The figures provided, such as '15 in million', are slightly awkward in phrasing, and the comparison of the retail and healthcare sectors is left unfinished. To reach a higher band, ensure all data points are fully described and the response is brought to a logical conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'By contrast', and 'Although'. However, the flow is interrupted by the incomplete final sentence, which negatively impacts the overall coherence. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from an overview to specific sector details, but the mechanical nature of some transitions and the sudden stop in the final paragraph limit the effectiveness of the cohesion. Improving the logical flow between sentences and ensuring the text is complete would significantly improve this score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'occupations', 'sectors', 'dramatically', and 'steadily' used appropriately. However, there are some awkward collocations and phrasing issues, such as '15 in million' instead of '15 million' and 'lowered during the rest of the 60 years' instead of 'declined over the 60-year period'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do show a lack of precision. To improve, focus on using more natural phrasing for statistical data and avoid repetitive sentence structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as '15 in million', 'the agriculture had', and 'all along the years'. The sentence 'Although, the number of occupations provided in the retail and healthcare rose steadily...' is incorrectly punctuated with a comma after 'Although'. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of these minor errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would help improve the accuracy of the writing.

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