Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the data about employment in the various fields of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

To begin with, it is vividly seen that the highest work sector was manufacturing in 1960, which was 15 million, and the least can be seen in healthcare, at merely 2 million in 1960. Although there was a dramatic rise in the field of retail, which was just 6 million in the year 1960 and around 15 million in 2000. However, it inclined to around one million in the following years.

On the other hand, as far as the agriculture department was concerned, it had around 15 million jobs in the year 1960 and started to decline in the following years till 2020, which was the minimum as compared to other sectors, followed by the field of manufacturing, which started to reduce from 1980 to 2020 by around 13 million. Moreover, the jobs in healthcare were reduced after the year 1960, followed by the years 1980, 2000 and 2020, which were only 2 million.

Overall, although a major development can be seen in the field of healthcare. However, jobs in millions were decreased in agriculture from the year 1960 to 2020 respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies. For example, you state that healthcare jobs were 'merely 2 million' in 1960 and then later claim they were 'reduced' after 1960, which contradicts the visual trend of growth. Furthermore, the description of the retail sector's decline to 'one million' is not supported by the data provided. While you identify the main sectors, the lack of precision in reporting the data points and the misinterpretation of trends prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the graph's axes and labels.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by inaccurate transitions and repetitive phrasing. The use of cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'Overall' is mechanical. Additionally, the final paragraph contains a structural error where you use 'Although' followed by 'However' in the same sentence, which is grammatically redundant and confusing. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed because the data points are not linked clearly to the trends being described. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used correctly will help the reader follow your argument more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You use a limited range of vocabulary, often repeating basic terms like 'field', 'sector', and 'jobs'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation; for instance, 'it inclined to around one million' is an incorrect use of 'inclined' in this context. You also use 'department' to refer to an economic sector, which is imprecise. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic message, it lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands. Try to incorporate more specific reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'industry'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For example, 'the least can be seen in healthcare' is awkward, and 'jobs in millions were decreased' is an unnatural passive construction. There are also issues with sentence fragments and punctuation, such as the sentence starting with 'However' in the final paragraph, which is not correctly linked to the preceding clause. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct sentence boundary punctuation.

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