Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate the information regarding the number of jobs in four different sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, its cleared that, the manufacturing jobs are on top of list in this tenure. In Contrast, the jobs in agriculture department are slow and steady fall.
In manufacturing field, the jobs are started from 15 millions in 1960, it rose to 20 million jobs in 1990 . However after that , it faces a minor decline in 2020 to 14 million jobs. In addition, retail markets are grew up . In 1990, Only 5 millions retail jobsare available at that time , After the time passes, the jobs are continously increasing and in 2020, reatil jobs are above to 15 millions.
Healthcare jobs are also increasing by time . Its just have 2 million jobs in these four sectors in 1960, It also jumped to 16 millions jobs in 2020. However, the healthcare department have 6 millions job in 1960, but in 1990, they have only 4 millions opportunities , and these numbers are same through out the period till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare jobs jumped to 16 million, but then contradict this by mentioning a different figure for the same sector later in the paragraph. Furthermore, the description of the trends is somewhat confusing due to these data errors. To improve, ensure that your summary accurately reflects the visual data provided and avoid contradictory statements. While you have attempted to make comparisons, the lack of precision in reporting the figures hinders the overall clarity of the task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical flow is frequently interrupted by confusing transitions and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'After the time passes' is unnatural, and the transition between the manufacturing and retail sections is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'In addition' and 'However'. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher score. You rely on basic verbs like 'grew up' and 'started from', which are not ideal for describing statistical trends. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'agriculture department' instead of 'sector' and 'retail markets are grew up'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is a lack of flexibility in expressing trends. Incorporating more academic collocations and precise terminology for data description would significantly enhance your lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graph illustrate', 'retail markets are grew up') and tense inconsistencies. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'Its just have 2 million jobs in these four sectors in 1960'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing past data. Reducing these frequent errors will make your writing much more professional and easier to follow.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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