Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph Shows the information about number of jobs in four different sectors like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US between the year [redacted phone].

In the year 1960, 15 million people working in Manufacturing sector in 1980 it was increased by 5 million, and it has 20 million after that it was slowly decrease and it was 17 million in the year 2000 and again it was decrease and in 2020 it was only 13 million people work in manufacturing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the content is incomplete; it only discusses the Manufacturing sector and ignores the other three sectors (Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare) entirely. There is no overview provided, which is a critical requirement for Task 1. To improve, you must ensure you cover all data categories presented in the graph and provide a summary of the main trends or differences observed across the entire period. Currently, the response is too brief to adequately address the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is too short to demonstrate a range of cohesive devices or effective paragraphing. While there is a basic attempt to structure the information, the lack of a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs makes the text feel disjointed. The transition between the introduction and the single body paragraph is abrupt. To improve, you should use linking words such as 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas and ensure that each distinct trend is presented in a logical, well-structured paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decrease' without using more precise academic alternatives such as 'fluctuated', 'declined', or 'experienced a downward trend'. There are also issues with word choice and phrasing, such as '15 million people working in Manufacturing sector', which lacks the necessary articles and prepositions. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to data trends and ensure you use correct collocations when describing economic sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is weak, with frequent errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph Shows'), missing articles (e.g., 'in Manufacturing sector'), and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., '15 million people working' instead of '15 million people worked'). The sentence structures are simple and lack the complexity required for higher bands. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses, and pay close attention to basic grammatical rules like tense consistency and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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