Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

As we can see from the given graph about the job market in the us economy from 1960 to 2020

the manufacturing sector had 15 millions job in the year 1960 which had reached 20 million in 1980 where the us was a globalizing its product in the international markets due to which people from underdeveloped countries started to migrate to us for better standard of living but then in the early 2000 the till date its been the age of internet ,and growing retail brand like kfc , mc dolands, walmart and many more started open there stores location all across the us thus creating a job market of 15 million while increasing in education and health care people started looking for secured profession such as doctors, nursers , chemist

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the content is underdeveloped. While you attempt to describe the manufacturing sector, you omit data for the other three sectors entirely, failing to provide a comprehensive summary of the graph. The inclusion of external knowledge—such as the mention of KFC, McDonald's, and Walmart—is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report, which should focus strictly on the data provided. To improve, you must report on all categories shown in the graph and avoid adding personal commentary or outside information.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is written as a single, long, run-on sentence, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of paragraphing and an absence of cohesive devices to link ideas logically. The progression of information is unclear, and the transition between the manufacturing sector and the service/retail sectors is abrupt and confusing. To improve, you should organize your report into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and specific details. Use linking words such as 'in contrast,' 'furthermore,' or 'meanwhile' to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and contains several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'mc dolands' and 'nursers'. The range is insufficient to describe trends effectively; for example, you use 'had reached' and 'increasing' but lack the precise terminology required for data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'remained stable.' The reliance on informal phrasing and the inclusion of brand names detract from the academic tone required for this task. Focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to graphs and trends to enhance your precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response consists of a single, grammatically incorrect sentence. There is a lack of punctuation, which makes the text difficult to parse. You struggle with basic sentence structure, including missing articles ('the us'), incorrect verb tenses, and run-on clauses. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures. To improve, focus on writing shorter, grammatically complete sentences. Ensure you use correct capitalization for proper nouns and countries, and practice using conjunctions and relative clauses to connect your ideas accurately without creating run-on sentences.

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