Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph provides data on the economy of the number of occupations in four sectors in United States.
Overall, the highest number of workers shifted from manufacturing jobs in 1960 to healthcare and retail industries in 2020.
The most noticeable changes are the healthcare and retail departments, which grew dramatically over six decades. The healthcare industry started from around three millions of jobs, rising up to over sixteen million of job by 2020. This similarity also applied to the retail sector, starting above five million jobs in 1960 and reached the same number of jobs as the healthcare industry in 2020.
On the other hand, the greatest number of workers in 1960, manufacturing sector, with around fifteen million people employed, reached a peak in 1980, but gradually declined in the next four decades, resulting in just below fourteen million jobs by 2020.
The sector of agriculture as a comparison, the number of occupations remained plateau between 1980 and 2020. It consisted the lowest number of workers starting from 1980, with approximately four million employees only at the end of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You highlighted the significant growth in the healthcare and retail sectors and the decline in manufacturing, which covers the key features of the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you stated that the healthcare industry started at around three million jobs, whereas the graph shows it starting closer to one million. Additionally, describing the agriculture sector as remaining at a 'plateau' between 1980 and 2020 is slightly inaccurate as the graph shows a slight decline. Ensuring precision when reading data points is essential for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand' and 'In addition' to link ideas. However, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Some sentences feel slightly disjointed, and the use of referencing could be more precise to improve the flow. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'shifted', 'dramatically', 'gradually declined', and 'plateau'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'number of occupations in four sectors' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'healthcare and retail departments' (should be 'sectors' or 'industries'). The phrase 'three millions of jobs' is also grammatically incorrect; it should be 'three million jobs'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'The sector of agriculture as a comparison, the number of occupations remained plateau' (which is a fragmented sentence) and 'It consisted the lowest number' (should be 'It consisted of'). There are also issues with pluralization and article usage, such as 'in United States' (should be 'in the United States'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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