Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph depicts the number of professions in different categories of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the demand for manufacturing was the highest. However, through the given period, this figure out period it decrease steadily. Moreover, the agriculture sector experienced a downturn. The number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly.
To begin with, 15 million people worked in manufacturing sector in 1960, reaching its peak to 20 million in 1980. After that, its decrease continue to 13 million in 2020. Demand of healthcare 3 millions people worked in 1960, than it steadily growing to 5 million in 1980, after that its continues increase and reach 16 million in 2020.
In 1960, turning to retail and agriculture sectors, there numbers were same at the beginning of period, individuals who work in agriculture sector decline to 3 million in 1980. Then its continues decline and stop at 2 million in 2020. People who work in retail sector increase three times and reach 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the peak in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped and contains some inaccuracies in data reporting (e.g., stating retail and agriculture were the same in 1960, which is not clearly supported by the graph). While the main features are selected, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points mentioned are precise and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends across the entire period rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'turning to', but they are sometimes used mechanically or with grammatical errors (e.g., 'after that its continues increase'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally confusing, such as the transition between the retail and agriculture sectors in the final paragraph. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would enhance the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'downturn', 'steadily growing', and 'significant'. However, there is some repetition of basic verbs like 'increase' and 'decline'. There are also minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of professions' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'reaching its peak to' (should be 'reaching a peak of'). To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of synonyms to describe data changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('its decrease continue', 'its continues decline') and tense inconsistencies ('its continues increase and reach'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction, such as 'Demand of healthcare 3 millions people worked in 1960, than it steadily growing'. The student needs to focus on consistent verb tenses and subject-verb agreement to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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