Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs across four different sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare sector showed a consistent upward trend. In contrast, manufacturing industry remained at the leading position till 2000, which fell to third position at the end of 2020. However, retail field also showed an upward trend, which shared the same figure with healthcare sector in 2020. Meanwhile, agriculture sector represented a downward trend.

Regrading manufacturing sector, which started at 15 million jobs in 1960. This figure rose to 20 million in 1980, which decreased to approximately 16 million in 2000 and around 13 million in 2020. Moreover, retail industry increased from around 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 in terms of jobs. This number further increased to 15 million in 2000 and peaked at around 16 million in 2020.

One the other hand, agriculture sector began at around 6 million in 1960, which decreased to almost 3 million in 1980 and remained stable in 2000. This figure fell in 2020, bottomed out at around 2 million. Nevertheless, healthcare sector showed the highest growth throughout the period. It started at almost 2 million in 1960, which increased gradually to 5 million in 1980 and reached to approximately 11 million in 2000. This number reached to a peak of 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response effectively identifies the main trends and makes relevant comparisons between the four sectors. You successfully highlight the growth in healthcare and retail, the decline in agriculture, and the fluctuating status of manufacturing. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the key features. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are described with precision; for instance, you mention the manufacturing sector 'fell to third position' in 2020, but the graph shows it actually sits at the lowest point among the four. Double-checking data accuracy against the visual information is crucial for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with each focusing on specific sectors. There is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the overview and the body paragraphs. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'However', 'Meanwhile', and 'On the other hand' to link your points effectively. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are slightly fragmented due to the overuse of relative clauses (e.g., 'Regrading manufacturing sector, which started at...'). Improving sentence structure would make the flow even more natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey information clearly, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'remained stable', and 'bottomed out'. While the vocabulary is functional and appropriate for the task, it is somewhat repetitive. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'witnessed a steady climb') and avoid repeating the same sentence structures when describing data points. The word choice is generally accurate and does not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur frequently, particularly with sentence fragments and punctuation. For example, 'Regrading manufacturing sector, which started at 15 million...' is a fragment because it lacks a main verb. Additionally, there are minor errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in healthcare sector' (should be 'the healthcare sector') and 'reached to approximately' (the verb 'reach' does not take 'to'). Focusing on subject-verb agreement and avoiding sentence fragments will significantly improve your accuracy.

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