Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares the data, measured in millions, in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, jobs in manufacturing sector accounted for the largest proportion whereas it showed substantial decline over the period. Although healthcare sector stood at smallest proportion in the initial stage, it experienced most noticeable growth in the end. In addition to this, retail and agriculture recorded similar figures in the starting, both followed different trends afterward, where the jobs in retail sector increased and in agriculture sector it dropped.
To begin with, manufacturing sector employed 15 million jobs in 1960 whereas it experienced a decline accounting for 8 millions jobs approximately by 2020. In contrast, retail as well as healthcare sector overtook the manufacturing sector by the end of the period which recorded the similar figures near about 15 millions whereas both retail and healthcare accounted for smaller portion during 1960, 5 millions and 4 millions respectively.
At the lower end of ranking, healthcare sector experienced a decline relatively, the figures for jobs in healthcare sector accounted for 5 millions in 1960 which slipped to 2 millions by 2020, making it the least employed sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and identifies key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the text states that the healthcare sector was the 'smallest' in the initial stage and 'slipped to 2 millions', which contradicts the provided graph where agriculture is clearly the lowest. Additionally, the claim that retail and healthcare overtook manufacturing to reach '15 millions' is not supported by the visual data. While the report covers all sectors, the misinterpretation of the data points significantly impacts the accuracy of the summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'To begin with', and 'In contrast' are used to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by the factual errors mentioned above, making the comparison confusing. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear attempt to structure the information by comparing sectors. The use of referencing is generally clear, though the logical flow is weakened by the inaccurate reporting of the data trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use sector-specific terminology like 'proportion', 'substantial decline', and 'employed sector'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'slipped to 2 millions' and 'recorded the similar figures', which sound slightly unnatural. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. The repetition of 'sector' and 'millions' is noticeable, though it does not impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing sector accounted for the largest proportion whereas it showed substantial decline' (missing articles) and 'retail as well as healthcare sector overtook' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in article usage and prepositional phrases throughout the text. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning, they occur frequently enough to limit the score to the 6.0 band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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