Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph depicts the data about the numbers of jobs available in the United States in four sectors, i.e., manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the period of [redacted phone].
The analysis of graph clearly illustrates that the jobs in manufacturing steadily increased till 1980, but after the 1980 it observed negative and in 2020 it stood below the 15 million, approximately equivalent to 13 million. however, jobs in retail spiked, initially, it was above the 5 million, but over the period it surged and reached its peak of 16 million in 2020.
Furthermore, the jobs in agriculture has dwindled, in 1980 it stood at the same rate of retail, but over the period it steadily diminish approximately to 2.5 million. In contrast, the healthcare jobs which was below the both retail and agriculture, has increased and in 2000 it touched 15 million, but after 2000, it gradually increased and in 2020 it stood approximately at 16 million. The is a noticeable point is that both the retail and healthcare stands at the same figure in the year of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is missing; a summary of the main trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing/agriculture to service-based sectors) is essential for a higher band. Some data points are slightly inaccurate or vague, such as stating agriculture was at the same rate as retail in 1980, which is not clearly supported by the visual data. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview paragraph and verify data points against the graph more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'however' are used to link sentences. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'The is a noticeable point is that...', which contains a grammatical error and awkward phrasing. The paragraphing is sufficient, but the flow between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Overall, the information is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with attempts at descriptive verbs like 'dwindled', 'surged', and 'diminish'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'observed negative' (should be 'experienced a decline') and 'at the same rate of retail' (should be 'at the same level as retail'). There are also minor errors in article usage and pluralization, such as 'The analysis of graph' instead of 'The analysis of the graph'. Expanding the range of vocabulary to include more precise reporting verbs would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the jobs in agriculture has dwindled' (subject-verb agreement), 'the healthcare jobs which was' (subject-verb agreement), and 'The is a noticeable point' (syntax error). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is occasionally repetitive. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining the use of relative clauses to improve the sophistication of your sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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