Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of career opportunities in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, healthcare and retail jobs sharply increased throughout the period, whereas the agriculture and manufacturing opportunities rapidly declined by the end of the period.
In 1960, health started from approximately 3 millions, whereas retail started at 6 millions and sharply increased and met at the same point at the end of the year in 2020 around 16 millions and remained unchanged throughout the period.
Furthermore, manufacturing started from 15 millions and increased in 1980 to around 20 millions, after that it declined by the end of the period to almost 13 millions respectively. By comparing with agriculture, it rapidly declined by the end of the period to around 2 millions in 2020.
Additionally, comparing the given data, the retail was noticeably the highest trend rather than healthcare. Similarly, manufacturing opportunity was the second highest trend only in 1980, after that its movement went downward throughout the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the analysis is marred by factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For example, stating that retail and healthcare 'met at the same point' at 16 million is not supported by the graph, nor is the claim that they 'remained unchanged' at the end. The description of the manufacturing trend is also slightly confusing. While the main features are selected, the lack of precision in reporting the figures prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', and 'whereas' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For instance, the transition between the discussion of manufacturing and agriculture is abrupt. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal flow of sentences could be smoother to ensure a more professional academic tone.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'career opportunities', 'sharply increased', and 'downward'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'retail was noticeably the highest trend' and 'manufacturing opportunity was the second highest trend'. These phrases are slightly unnatural in an academic context. The repetition of 'at the end of the period' also limits the lexical variety. More precise terminology related to data description would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as '3 millions' (should be '3 million'), 'by comparing with agriculture' (which is a dangling modifier), and 'retail was noticeably the highest trend rather than healthcare' (which is logically confusing). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall fluency. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the control over complex sentence structures needs improvement to reach a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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