Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts the job opportunity in different four sector of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, four different sector have a jobs of the economy in the US and that was Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare that was the main source of job in US in the year of 1960 and 2020.
Looking for the first, in the year of 1960 they had highest percentage in "manufacturing" jobs with the number of 15millions. Moreover, in the same year "retail" and "agriculture" had same number but less than previous mentioned figure and that was approximately 6million. Furthermore, healthcare had the lowest number and that was 4million.
However, manufacturing jobs got increased by the 5 millions people in the year of 1980 but in the year of 2020 it had less number than 1960. Moreover, retails jobs and healthcare jobs had a same numbers in the year of 2020 and that was nearly 15millions. Lastly, agriculture jobs got decreased by 7millons people in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the four sectors and their trends over the period. However, the overview is poorly constructed and lacks clarity, as it repeats information rather than highlighting the most significant trends (e.g., the decline of manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth of healthcare and retail). The data reporting is generally accurate, but the description of the trends is somewhat simplistic. To improve, ensure the overview provides a clear summary of the overall direction of the data rather than just listing the categories. The comparison between sectors is present but could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Looking for the first' and 'Furthermore'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making the flow of ideas feel disjointed. For instance, the transition between the 1960 data and the 2020 data could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data points logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'number', 'jobs', and 'increased'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'job opportunity in different four sector' and 'had a jobs of the economy'. The use of 'millions' is inconsistent, and the word choice lacks the precision required for a formal academic report. To improve, incorporate more varied vocabulary related to trends and data, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined significantly', or 'remained stable'. Expanding your range of collocations will help convey information more professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with pluralisation ('four sector', 'retail jobs and healthcare jobs had a same numbers'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors that occasionally impede the flow of information. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which limits the range. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practising the construction of complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'while', 'although', 'whereas') will help demonstrate a better command of grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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