Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare jobs experienced steady growth, while manufacturing and agriculture declined over the period. Although people involved in retail and agriculture were similar initially, retail soared up and agriculture went down.

In 1960, around 6 million people were involved in retail, whereas around 3 million people were engaged in healthcare. But both of the occupations closed at the same number, peaking at nearly 16 million. Health care escalate with steadily whereas retail increased agressively until 2000, and plateaued towards 2020.

In spite of a good increment initially, manufacturing declined drastically from 1960 and reached approximately 12 million.

Retail and agriculture were at the same point, which was around 6 million in 1960, but retail rose up and agriculture plunged to around 3 million in 1980 before leveling off slightly towards 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the four sectors. You highlighted the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the data. For instance, you state that retail and agriculture were at the same point in 1960, but the graph shows retail and manufacturing were closer in value, and your description of the final figures is slightly imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that comparisons are more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction and an overview. You use some cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'although', and 'in spite of' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the declining sectors together and the growing sectors together more distinctly. The transition between the second and third paragraphs is a bit abrupt, and some referencing is slightly confusing, particularly when discussing the trends of the four sectors simultaneously.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'soared', 'plateaued', 'declined drastically', and 'plunged'. These are appropriate for describing trends in a graph. There are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'agressively' (aggressively) and 'escalate with steadily' (escalated steadily). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands. Focusing on more varied collocations and ensuring correct word forms will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Although people involved in retail and agriculture were similar initially...'. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'Health care escalate with steadily' (should be 'Healthcare escalated steadily') and 'both of the occupations closed at the same number'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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