Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The below line graph illustrates the availability of number of job openings between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, employment under retail sector rose with approximately 6 millions jobs, and consistently increased with around 16 million jobs during 2020. However, the Agriculture become the least department to grow only around 4 million jobs in 2020.

In 1960, Manufacturing become the first industry to grow significantly with 15millions of openings till 1980, with a figure of 20 millions. Agriculture and Retail expand the employment offers with around 6 millions. However, the first one steadily get increased and other one steadily decreased with the figure of around 4 millions during 1980 and 2000 and approximately 2.5 millions during 2020. The agriculture sector start offering employment with around 1.5 millions and rise significantly and offer same job opportunities as retail sector during 2020. In addition to this, manufacturing sector is the one who provide more opportunities to workers during establishment period(1960) with a value of 15 millions and upgrade the offers till 1980s, then a sudden fall is observed and become the third sector to offer high opportunities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but the presentation of data is often confusing and inaccurate. For instance, the claim that the retail sector rose by 'approximately 6 million' and then reached '16 million' is difficult to verify against the provided visual data, and the description of the agriculture sector is contradictory. While you attempt to identify trends, the lack of precision in reporting figures and the misinterpretation of the data points hinder the clarity of the summary. To improve, ensure that the data cited directly corresponds to the graph and avoid vague descriptions that make it hard for the reader to follow the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is frequently interrupted by confusing sentence structures and unclear referencing. For example, phrases like 'the first one steadily get increased and other one steadily decreased' are ambiguous because it is unclear which sectors are being referred to. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'however' and 'in addition to this'. Improving the use of referencing (e.g., using 'the former' or 'the latter') would help the reader follow your argument more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'grow', 'increase', and 'offer', and there are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'least department' instead of 'sector' and 'establishment period' to refer to the starting year. There are also errors in word form, such as '15millions' (should be '15 million'). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure that you use nouns and verbs correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('Agriculture become', 'manufacturing sector is the one who provide'), tense consistency (switching between past and present), and article usage. While you attempt some complex sentence structures, they are often marred by errors, such as 'manufacturing become the first industry to grow significantly with 15millions of openings till 1980, with a figure of 20 millions'. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring consistent verb tenses will significantly improve the readability and accuracy of your writing.

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