Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph highlights details about US many opportunities in four segments of the economy within 60 years interval

Overall, it's observed that there's no stability in the four components of the economy, this can be seen with their different ways of increasing cresendo or decreasing diminuendo.

In the year 1960, manufacturing opportunity started with 15 million offers, and in 1980, the offer escalated to 20 million, also in 2000, it reduced to 17 million whereas in 2020, it decreased further to 13 million. Retail job began with 6 million in 1960 and with a slight increment in 1980 by 10 million, then another increment in 2000 by 15 million with a slight addition to 16 million by 2020. The Agriculture sector kicked off with 6 million just as the Retail sector in 1960, but then, unlike the retail sector in 1980, it decreased to 3 million and it remained so till 2020 when it had a slight decline to 2 million. Furthermore, the Healthcare sector with a starting point of 2 million with an increase to 5 million by 2020 also catapulted with a massive increment to 11 million by 2000 and finally to 16 million in 2020.

In all of these, the analysis comes to play that the retail and Healthcare sectors are on the increasing side in all the years, whereas the Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors are on the decreasing side in all the years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, you state the retail sector reached 10 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it at 8 million. Additionally, the description of the healthcare sector is confusing; you mention it reached 11 million by 2000 and 16 million by 2020, but the starting point of 2 million is not clearly linked to the timeline. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends, such as the stark contrast between the growth of service sectors and the decline of traditional industries.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In all of these', but the flow is occasionally mechanical. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is clear, but the internal cohesion within the body paragraphs could be improved by using more varied linking phrases rather than relying on simple chronological listing. The paragraphing is appropriate for an academic report, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, despite some minor issues with sentence-level connectivity.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, such as 'escalated', 'catapulted', and 'decline'. However, there are some awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'increasing cresendo' and 'decreasing diminuendo', which are not appropriate for an academic report. Additionally, 'US many opportunities' is grammatically awkward. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, such as 'upward trend' or 'significant growth', rather than attempting to use musical terminology that does not fit the context of economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'the analysis comes to play' and 'Healthcare sector with a starting point of 2 million with an increase...'. These errors, while not impeding communication, are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed with correct prepositional phrases and relative clauses. Proofreading for basic sentence structure would help reduce these errors.

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