Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The most manufacturing jobs were in the year 1980 which were almost 20 million, but later on the jobs in that sector decreased in the period of [redacted phone]. The jobs in agriculture sector have always been under 5 million. There have not been much jobs in that sector over all the years from 1960 to 2020. Jobs in retail have surprisingly increased in all the years and have been the maximum in the year 2020. Similar to retail, healthcare jobs have also followed the same trend and have been the most in 2020. Healthcare jobs have been very less in the past years as compared to the retail jobs , but in the year 2020, both the sectors have around 15 million jobs, respectively. In the period of years1960 to 2000, manufacturing jobs were more as compared to the other sectors, but in 2020, the manufacturing jobs have been observed to be less than the retail and agriculture jobs, which is around 14 million only. The agriculture job was equal to retail jobs in the year 1960 that was 6 million, but by the year 2020, it became around 2 million only.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains factual inaccuracies based on the provided graph (e.g., stating agriculture and retail were equal in 1960, or that manufacturing was less than agriculture in 2020). The overview is missing; a summary should highlight the most significant trends at the beginning or end. The report relies heavily on listing data points rather than synthesizing the information to make clear comparisons, which limits the depth of the response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is presented as a single block of text, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of paragraphing to separate the introduction, overview, and body details. While there is some attempt at logical progression, the transition between ideas is often mechanical or abrupt. Cohesive devices are limited and sometimes misused, such as the repetitive use of 'in the year' and 'in the period of'. To improve, you should group related information into distinct paragraphs and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of basic phrases like 'jobs in', 'in the year', and 'have been'. Some word choices are unnatural, such as 'very less' instead of 'significantly lower' or 'fewer'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is narrow and does not demonstrate an ability to use less common lexical items or precise collocations related to data description.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect preposition usage ('in the period of years1960'), subject-verb agreement errors ('The agriculture job was'), and awkward phrasing ('There have not been much jobs'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around numbers and years. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on sentence variety and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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