Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates of information about the numbers of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in US during the 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the jobs in manufacturing companies was the highest in the starting point. The healthcare job was lowest in the starting point it were increased over the time. The retail and agriculture job also increased over the time.
Looking forward in the graph the 15 million jobs was in the manufacturing companies during 1960. The jobs were increased in the 1980 almost 20 million and in 2020 it was 12 million. The job in retail companies in 1960 was almost 6 million. The jobs in retail were increasing rapidly almost 16 million job in 2020. The agriculture jobs in 1960 was at the lowest point. In 2020 it job were decreased almost 2 million. The healthcare jobs in 1960 was at the lowest point almost 2 million jobs. Its job was fluctuated during the time period in 2020 almost 16 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the start and end of the period. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, relying on a list of figures rather than a synthesis of trends. While the main features are identified, the comparison between sectors is limited. The overview is present but lacks clarity, particularly regarding the overall trends. Some data points, such as the claim that agriculture jobs decreased to 2 million in 2020, appear to misinterpret the visual information provided in the graph. To improve, focus on grouping the sectors by their growth or decline patterns rather than describing each one in isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is very limited and often repetitive (e.g., 'the jobs in...'). There is a lack of linking words to connect ideas within sentences or between paragraphs, making the flow feel disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'Its job was fluctuated', where the pronoun usage is awkward. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider range of cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to show the relationship between the data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic message but is quite repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'the jobs in' are used repeatedly, and there is a lack of variety in reporting verbs or descriptors for trends. Some word choices are inaccurate, such as 'Looking forward in the graph' (which is not appropriate for historical data) and 'Its job was fluctuated'. To improve, incorporate more specific vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend', and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the jobs... was', 'it were increased', 'it job were decreased') and article usage. The sentence structures are predominantly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. When complex structures are attempted, they often contain errors, such as 'The healthcare jobs in 1960 was at the lowest point almost 2 million jobs.' Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring correct verb tenses for past data will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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