Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph shows the numbers of jobs in four sections between 1960 and 2020 (in millions). In general, retail and healthcare increased throughout the years, while manufacturing and experienced the opposite trend.
Regarding the rising sectors, in 1960, the figure of retail began at approximately 6, and that of healthcare started at around 2,5. After 20 years, both lines grew with relatively similar pattern of about 50% rise, with the former reached 10 and the latter did at 5. In 2000, the same pattern occurred, retail was 15 and healthcare was about 12. At the end of the period, the figure of retail rose consistetnly and peaked at more than 16, whereas healthcare's gradually increase and met at the previous point.
In terms of the sectors with decreasing trend, in 1960, manufacturing had the largest number of jobs by 15, agriculture started at the same base of retail. In 1980, the former saw a surge and reached at 20, in constrast, the latter declined to about 3. In 2000, manufacturing experienced a sharp decrease to about 16, while agriculture remained its figure in 1980. At the end of the period, they both cummeted with same pattern, leading to 12,5 for manufacturing and 2,2 of agriculture.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the contrasting movements of the four sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting that affect the clarity of the summary. For instance, you state that manufacturing reached 20 in 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking at 20 in 1980, but your description of agriculture starting at the same base as retail is slightly confusing. Additionally, the statement that healthcare 'met at the previous point' at the end of the period is vague. To improve, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that comparisons between sectors are explicitly linked to the figures provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction followed by two body paragraphs grouping the sectors by trend. This structure is effective. Cohesive devices such as 'Regarding', 'In terms of', and 'in contrast' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'the former' and 'the latter' which can become confusing when multiple sectors are discussed in one sentence. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring clear antecedents for pronouns would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main features of the graph, using terms like 'surged', 'declined', 'sharp decrease', and 'plummeted'. However, there are several spelling errors ('consistetnly', 'cummeted') and some awkward phrasing, such as 'the figure of retail began at approximately 6' and 'remained its figure'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure accurate spelling of key descriptive verbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the latter did at 5' (should be 'did so at 5') and 'healthcare's gradually increase' (should be 'healthcare's gradual increase'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with comma usage and sentence construction. The majority of sentences contain minor errors, though these rarely impede the reader's understanding. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of verb forms after auxiliary verbs will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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