Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the line graph compares information about the number of jobs in four category such as manufacturing ,retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in us from1960 to 2020
overall, it clearly observed that healthcare and retail showed upward trend .However , manufacturing and agriculture showed downward trend .
in 1960, 15 millions jobs was showed in manufacturing then increased slightly and reached all time highest 20 millions after 20 years . after that decreased drastically and reached 13 millions at 2020. Retail and agriculture stared at same point at both show opposite trends . Retail increased upward reached at 15 millions in 2000 and it increased slightly at 16millions in 2020. while agriculture sectors decreased by3 millions and remain stable constant from 1980 to 2000 . it decreased minorly at 2 millions in 2020. 2millions of jobs was increased from starting point and it climbed constantly in 2000 at 11 millions and again increased and merged with retail at 16 millions by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, you state that retail and agriculture started at the same point, which is not supported by the graph. Additionally, the description of the healthcare sector is confusing, as you mention it 'merged with retail' at 16 million, which is difficult to follow. While you provide an overview and some specific figures, the lack of precision in interpreting the data points prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your statements with the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, which provides a basic structure. However, the progression of ideas is often unclear due to awkward phrasing and a lack of effective cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are frequently missing or mechanical, such as the abrupt start to the final paragraph. The use of referencing is also problematic, making it difficult for the reader to follow which sector is being discussed at any given time. Improving the use of linking words like 'consequently', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' would help the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'showed' throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'stared at same point' (likely meant 'started') and 'decreased minorly'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of variety and the presence of errors in word formation limit the range. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise reporting verbs and adverbs, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'a marginal decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('15 millions jobs was showed'), article usage, and punctuation. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors that impede clarity, such as the final sentence of the essay. Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for punctuation errors before submitting.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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