Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares the number of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing jobs experienced highest growth in the economy before it fell sharply over the period. Meanwhile, retail and healthcare significantly increased their market share throughout the period, while agriculture experienced a gradual decline by the end of the period.
In 1960, manufacturing jobs created a huge impact on the US economy with 15 million jobs, it gradually rose upto 20 million by the end of 1980. From 1980 the figure fell sharply to around 10 to 12 million jobs by the end of the timeline. Whereas, retail and healthcare jobs started at around 2 and 6 million jobs respectively. The both figures substantially rose to 15 million by 2020.
Meanwhile, in 1960, the agriculture sector was the second-highest growth market with around 6-7 million jobs. Meanwhile, the market considerably decreased to around 2 million by 2020, marked least share in the US economy .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the rise of retail/healthcare and the decline of agriculture and manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating manufacturing experienced the 'highest growth' is misleading, as it peaked and then declined significantly, ending lower than it started. The data reporting is generally clear, but the description of the agriculture sector as the 'second-highest growth market' in 1960 is confusing, as the graph shows it starting at a high point and declining. To improve, ensure the overview focuses on the most significant trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors) rather than individual fluctuations, and ensure data points are interpreted correctly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related information. Cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'Whereas', and 'In 1960' are used to link ideas, though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from a general summary to specific details about the sectors. To reach a higher band, try to vary the cohesive devices further and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid, avoiding repetitive sentence starters.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'market share', 'gradual decline', and 'substantially rose' used correctly. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'created a huge impact' and 'marked least share', which sound unnatural. The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Focusing on more academic collocations related to data description (e.g., 'witnessed a downward trend' instead of 'considerably decreased') would enhance the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Manufacturing jobs experienced highest growth' (missing article), 'The both figures' (incorrect determiner usage), and 'upto' (should be two words). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with comma splices and sentence fragments. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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