Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of employment in four areas of the economy between 1960 and 2020 in the US. The units are calibrated in millions.
Overall, two sectors: agriculture and healthcare which showed an increase in jobs while manufacturing and retail displayed a decrease in employment.
To begin with, manufacturing was the sector which showed the increment starting from 15 million jobs available in 1960 and rose up to 20 million in 1980 and then it gradually decreased by the next upcoming years and remained at 12 million in 2020. Similarly, the agriculture sector had 5 million jobs in 1960. Then after passing the years it was 3 million in 1980 and remained unchanged till 2000 then it slightly decreased in 2020 around 2 million.
To contrast, retail sector which continuously showed the increasing trend starting from the 1960 it had 5 million job, after then,it had increased with 5 million it reached at 10 million in 1980. In 2000 it depicted 15 million and it remained approximately stable in 2020. Similarly, the healthcare sector started from 3 million jobs in 1960 and increased up to 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the sectors that increased and decreased. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data provided in the graph. For instance, you stated that manufacturing increased to 20 million in 1980 and then decreased, whereas the graph shows a decline from 1960. Furthermore, you misidentified the trends for agriculture and retail. While you attempted to report the main features, the misinterpretation of the visual data significantly impacts the accuracy of the task completion. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the specific data points on the axes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Similarly', and 'To contrast' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is sometimes hindered by the factual errors mentioned above. Additionally, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'after passing the years it was 3 million'. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used to connect accurate information will help improve the flow and logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'calibrated', 'increment', and 'remained unchanged'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'the data about the number of employment' (should be 'employment numbers' or 'number of people employed') and 'after passing the years'. You also rely on some repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'a marginal decline', and ensure your word choices are contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the agriculture sector', 'the retail sector'), prepositions ('in 1960 it had 5 million job'), and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'two sectors: agriculture and healthcare which showed' is a fragmented structure. There are also punctuation issues, such as missing spaces after commas. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding article usage and sentence construction, to ensure your writing is more polished and error-free.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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