Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the proportion of employment in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the retail and healthcare area significantly rose throughout the period. While, manufacturing experienced declined, despite some fluctuations. In addition agriculture had lowest economy.

To begin with, in 1960 the manufacturing section had 15 million jobs, which was largest proportion of the economy. However the retail and agriculture remained same for job position in 1960 accounted for 6 million. Following this healthcare had 3 million job openings in 1960. Nonethenless manufacturing factor dramatically increased in 1980 and this factor had 20 millions job at that time which was higher than any other sector. But it plunged in 2020 around 12 million employement.

Moreover, in the 2020 the retail and healthcare section had highest

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence. While the student attempts to identify main features, the analysis is hampered by the lack of completion and inaccurate reporting of data (e.g., stating manufacturing was the largest in 1960 when the graph shows otherwise). The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail to fully satisfy the requirements of an Academic Task 1 response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'However', but these are often used mechanically or incorrectly. Paragraphing is attempted, but the abrupt ending makes the overall structure feel disjointed and unfinished. The progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text, making it difficult to follow the logical flow of the data comparison.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing factor' instead of 'sector' and 'lowest economy' instead of 'lowest number of jobs'. The student struggles to use precise terminology to describe trends, relying on simple descriptors like 'significantly rose' or 'plunged' without the necessary accuracy to convey the data effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing experienced declined'), article usage ('the retail and healthcare area'), and sentence structure. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors present occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the misuse of commas and the incomplete final sentence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.