Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph shows the data about the number of works in different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is apparent that the manufacturing sector has significantly the lowest downfall of jobs between 1960 and 2020. While Healthcare sector has soared the highest during the given time.
To commence with, both the retail and healthcare sector are the one giving the employment to people. Here, in retail department jobs vacancy increased by nearly 5 million to 10 million between 1960 to 1980, then following next 20 years, they again increased by 10 million and reaching nearly 16 million till 2020. Furthermore, in healthcare sector jobs increased dramatically every 20 years by approximately 10 million. However, manufacturing and agriculture sector has plummeted to the most, for manufacturing it rose for first 20 years by 10 million from 15 million, but unfortunately descent to nearly less than 15 million by 2020. Finally, agriculture sector never gave job opportunities and downgrade to nearly 1 million by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, stating the manufacturing sector had the 'lowest downfall' is confusing, and the description of the agriculture sector as one that 'never gave job opportunities' is an inaccurate interpretation of the graph. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the misinterpretation of trends prevent a higher score. The overview is present but could be more clearly linked to the overall trajectory of the sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'To commence with' and 'Here, in retail department' feel unnatural and do not always facilitate smooth logical progression. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors. While there is an overall attempt at a logical arrangement, the transitions between sentences and ideas are frequently awkward, which impacts the flow of the information provided.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'number of works' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'retail department jobs vacancy'. The use of 'soared the highest' and 'plummeted to the most' is slightly unnatural in this context. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and the student struggles with appropriate collocations related to data description.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Healthcare sector has soared' (missing article), 'manufacturing and agriculture sector has plummeted' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'descent to nearly less than' (incorrect word form). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar—such as articles, verb tenses, and word forms—is noticeable throughout the text, keeping the score in the 5.5 to 6.0 range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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