Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the data about the proportion of employment in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that the retail and healthcare area significantly rose throughout the period. While, manufacturing experienced declined, despite some fluctuations. In addition agriculture had lowest economy.
To begin with, in 1960 the manufacturing section had 15 million jobs, which was largest proportion of the economy. However the retail and agriculture remained same for job position in 1960 accounted for 6 million. Following this healthcare had 3 million job openings in 1960. Nonethenless manufacturing factor dramatically increased in 1980 and this factor had 20 millions job at that time which was higher than any other sector. But it plunged in 2020 around 12 million employement.
Moreover, in the 2020 the retail and healthcare section had highest number of jobs stood at above 15 millions and these both sector steadily incresed between 1960 and 2020. Furthermore, the agriculture jobs economy fell in 1980 accounted for 3 million and stayed constant to the remaining period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960, but the graph shows it was closer to 20 million. Furthermore, you describe the manufacturing sector as having 20 million jobs in 1980, which contradicts the visual data. While you attempt to compare the sectors, the lack of precision in reading the graph and the confusion between 'proportion' and 'number of jobs' limit the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the data points against the axes before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'Moreover'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Following this healthcare had 3 million job openings'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be strengthened by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the transition between sentences is smoother.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. You use terms like 'section', 'factor', and 'economy' interchangeably when referring to sectors, which is imprecise. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'Nonethenless', 'employement', and 'incresed'. While the meaning is generally clear, the vocabulary does not demonstrate the flexibility or sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using sector-specific terminology correctly and proofreading for common spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the retail and agriculture remained same for job position' and 'the 2020 the retail and healthcare section had highest number'. There are also issues with article usage ('the manufacturing section', 'the agriculture') and subject-verb agreement. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and checking for missing articles would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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