Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph compares the number of employment in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number jobs in retail sector and healthcare sector increased steadily over the years. In the contrary, the jobs related agriculture declined constantly whereas manufacturing faced dramatic trend , it increased first then dropped significantly over the years.
The number of jobs related to manufacturing was 15 millions in 1960 which was almost thrice than others. Manufacturing sector saw growth in 1980 and reached the peak of 20 millions of jobs, then it started to decline and stopped at nearly 13 by 2020. While manufacturing saw dramatic trend, agriculture sector experienced declined only. It started with approximately 6 millions jobs in 1960 and then decreased over the years and reached 2 millions only which is the lowest among all in 2020.
On the opposite side, healthcare started with 2 millions in 1960 with the lowest among all. Then it increased rapidly over the years and reached the shared maximum of nearly 16 millions jobs by 2020 with retail sector. The retail sector began with 6 millions in 1960 then increased and passed manufacturing by 2010s. By 2020 retail and healthcare shared the maximum number of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the peak of manufacturing and the convergence of retail and healthcare by 2020. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped; while you mention the trends, you could improve by explicitly highlighting the most significant contrast, such as the shift from manufacturing dominance to the rise of service-based sectors. The data points are generally accurate, though the phrasing 'stopped at nearly 13' is slightly informal. Overall, the response provides a clear summary of the main trends and comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from the general trends to specific sector details. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In the contrary' (though this is a collocation error) and 'On the opposite side'. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones, which helps the reader follow your analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dramatic trend', 'declined constantly', and 'shared maximum'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of employment' (should be 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels') and 'In the contrary' (should be 'In contrast'). You also use 'millions' incorrectly; it should be 'million' when preceded by a number. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with pluralization ('15 millions', '6 millions jobs') and prepositions ('declined only' instead of 'a decline'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'which was almost thrice than others' (should be 'three times higher than the others'). Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of quantifiers with units of measurement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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