Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of different occupations in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the USA from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing jobs were the highest in the USA job market around 20 million jobs. Moreover, the retail and healthcare sector was increased throughout the years in the job market. Whereas the agriculture field was the lowest in the given period of time.
In 1960, manufacturing jobs were the highest, accounting for 15 million jobs. Moreover, retail and agriculture were the second highest, with approximately 6 million jobs in the USA. However, healthcare was the lowest in the job market, with around 2.5 million jobs.
In 1980, manufacturing reached its highest at 20 million jobs, then it suddenly fell in the given period of time. In contrast, healthcare and retail jobs rapidly climbed and reached around 15 million jobs in 2020. Furthermore, healthcare jobs significantly decreased during the time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a general overview and attempts to report main features. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare jobs 'significantly decreased' during the period, whereas the graph shows a clear upward trend. Additionally, the statement that manufacturing reached its peak in 1980 and then 'suddenly fell' is a partial observation that misses the broader context of the trend. The summary lacks a clear comparison of the relative positions of the sectors at the end of the period. To improve, ensure that your descriptions of trends (increasing vs. decreasing) strictly align with the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Whereas', and 'In contrast' to link ideas. However, the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by contradictory information, such as the claim about healthcare decreasing. The use of referencing is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. To achieve a higher band, focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the logical progression between sentences is consistent with the data presented.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to describe the graph using terms like 'occupations', 'sector', and 'accounted for'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'the retail and healthcare sector was increased', which should be 'increased' (active voice) or 'saw an increase'. The repetition of 'jobs' and 'market' limits the sophistication of the response. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for trends and sectors, and ensure that your collocations are natural and precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the retail and healthcare sector was increased' (incorrect passive voice) and 'manufacturing jobs were the highest... around 20 million jobs' (missing preposition). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is sometimes repetitive. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity of your report. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing numerical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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