Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The four sectors of the number of jobs in the US economy in between the time period of 1960 and 2020.

First we will discuss the 50 years transformation in economy of US.

Here we can see a graph which show us the numbers of jobs given in the timeline between 1960 to 2020.

In 1960 the number of jobs in healthcare is between 0 to 5 millions and the number of jobs in agriculture is like 5 and a half millions same number of jobs given to retails and the most higher number of jobs in given to manufacturing round about 15 millions.

Now we will see the timeline of 2020 the highest job given is between healthcare and retail and the lowest jobs given to agriculture and the numbers of job given to manufacturing is between 10 to 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While the student identifies the four sectors and provides some data points, the overview is missing, and the description is fragmented. The analysis is superficial, relying on basic observations rather than identifying key trends or making meaningful comparisons between the sectors over the 60-year period. The data interpretation is also imprecise (e.g., 'like 5 and a half millions'), which fails to provide a clear summary of the information presented in the graph. To improve, the student must provide a clear overview of the main trends and ensure all parts of the task are fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks a logical structure. It is divided into very short, disjointed paragraphs that do not facilitate a smooth flow of information. There is an absence of cohesive devices to link ideas, and the introduction is repetitive and poorly phrased. The progression of ideas is unclear, as the text jumps between years without a coherent narrative. To achieve a higher band, the student should use linking words (e.g., 'however', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently') and organize the response into a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group information logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on phrases like 'number of jobs' and 'given to'. There is little attempt to use academic or topic-specific vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'declined', 'surpassed', 'remained stable'). The phrasing is often unnatural, such as 'the most higher number of jobs in given to'. The range is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To improve, the student should learn vocabulary related to data description and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'the four sectors of the number of jobs... in between the time period'). The text consists mainly of simple sentences, and there is no evidence of complex grammatical structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, correct verb tenses for describing past data, and ensuring that subjects and verbs agree.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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