Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph shows the number of workers in the Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare industries in the US in 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs in 1960 and 1980. However, it experienced a decline from 2000 to 2020. On the other hand, the healthcare sector had the smallest number of jobs available, just a little above 0 in 1960.
The retail sector experienced a dramatic increase just slightly above 5 million in 1960, and surged to 15 million in 2020. Healthcare had the highest increase from almost 0 in 1960 to 15 million in 2020.
The manufacturing sector had the highest number of workers, with 15 million in 1960, and 20 million in 1980, surprisingly it started to fall and continued to decline till in 2020, with just between 10 million and 15 million. Agriculture had a significant decline from above 5 million in 1960 to about 3 million in 1980 continued till in 2020 at about 1 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the rise in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs in 1980 is correct, but the claim that healthcare had the smallest number of jobs in 1960 is not fully supported by the visual data, which shows agriculture and healthcare starting at similar low levels. Furthermore, the summary lacks a clear synthesis of the overall trends, focusing more on listing data points rather than highlighting the most significant shifts. To improve, ensure the overview captures the broader picture, such as the shift from a manufacturing-based economy to a service-oriented one.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother, and the use of 'on the other hand' is slightly misused as it does not contrast with the previous sentence effectively. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, such as the final sentence of the second paragraph, which lacks a clear connection to the preceding information. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'surged', 'decline', and 'experienced'. However, there is a lack of variety in reporting verbs and descriptive language. Some word choices are slightly imprecise, such as 'just a little above 0', which could be expressed more professionally. There are also minor issues with collocation, such as 'continued till in 2020', which sounds unnatural. To reach a higher band, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'plummeted', 'gradual increase', or 'peaked', and ensure that prepositions are used accurately in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that distract the reader. For example, 'continued till in 2020' is awkward, and 'surprisingly it started to fall' is a comma splice. There are also minor issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'in 1960 and 2020' being used repeatedly. To improve, focus on reducing these small errors and aim for more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or participial phrases to combine information, which would demonstrate better control over grammar and punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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