Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the line graph shows the information of no of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the USA between 1960 and 2020 .

let's talk about sectors increasing or decreasing in 1960 to 2020,

The manufacturing jobs in 1960 around 15 million jobs and its increasingly in 1980 and slowly decrease in 2000 and ,In 2020 manufacturing decrease overall compare to 1960 manufacturing is fully decreasing in 2020s, And retail year by year increasing from 1960 to 2020s increasing around 6 million jobs to increase around 16 million jobs such increasingly jobs at retail, And agriculture fully effect in jobs because in todays situation now one do that jobs all are trying to do other sector jobs then, that graph shows in 1960 to 2020 agriculture jobs slowly decreasing ... And other health care sector shows from 1960 to 2020 fast increasing jobs compare to retail two are same jobs equally at 2020 around 16 million jobs.

finally, In this sectors retail and health care increase jobs and economy of us . And agriculture are rapidly slow in USA around compare to others sectors and manufacturing is high at one time but slowly decrease.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors, but the presentation of data is inconsistent and lacks precision. While you identify general trends, you fail to provide accurate data points from the graph, often using vague descriptions like 'around 15 million' or 'fully decreasing'. The overview is weak, as it does not clearly highlight the most significant trends, such as the dramatic shift from agriculture to service-based sectors. To improve, ensure you select key data points to support your observations and provide a more structured summary of the main features rather than listing trends in a fragmented manner.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure, appearing as a single block of text with informal transitions like 'let's talk about'. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'and' to connect unrelated ideas. There is no clear logical progression between sentences, making the text difficult to follow. To reach a higher band, you should organise your response into clear paragraphs (Introduction, Overview, and Body Paragraphs) and use a wider variety of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'in contrast', or 'consequently' to connect your ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'increasing' and 'decreasing'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'fully effect in jobs' and 'such increasingly jobs'. The lack of variety in reporting verbs and nouns makes the writing feel simplistic. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'surpassed'. Additionally, ensure you use correct word forms, as there are several errors in the usage of adjectives and verbs throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing... its increasingly'), missing articles, and incorrect tense usage. The sentence structures are mostly simple or poorly constructed, lacking the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and a lack of proper sentence boundaries. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practice using complex structures like relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to add variety.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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