Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The diagram illustrates data about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector was higher in first four decades followed by slight drop in last two decades. In contrast, the number of jobs in the healthcare sector was lower at the start of the period, and jumped over the given period, while the number of jobs in retail and agriculture was at same level at the start, but during the given period, they followed opposite direction.
Look at the details, the number of employment in the manufacturing sector was at 15 million at its initial, which increased to 20 million in two decades, followed by moderate fall around 13 million in 2020. On the other hand, the number of jobs in the healthcare was approximately 2 million at the start of the period, which increased over the given period, and reached around 16 million in 2020, while the number of jobs in the retail and agriculture was at same point of nearby 6 million at the start, followed by opposite direction, as the number of retail increased and reached with similar level of healthcare in 2020, and the number of agriculture bottomed out around 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. The overview is clear and highlights the key contrasts effectively. However, the report could be improved by providing more precise data points; for instance, stating 'around 13 million' or 'nearby 6 million' is somewhat vague. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical to reach a higher band. The response successfully addresses the prompt requirements by summarizing the information and making relevant comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraph. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'On the other hand', and 'followed by' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences in the second body paragraph is occasionally repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but the structure of the final sentence is somewhat cluttered, which slightly affects the smooth progression of information. Overall, the organization is coherent and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'manufacturing sector', 'bottomed out', and 'opposite direction'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'jumped over the given period' (which is not standard) and 'at same point of nearby 6 million'. The student relies on some repetitive phrasing, such as 'number of jobs' and 'at the start of the period'. To improve, the student should aim for more varied synonyms and more precise collocations when describing trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in first four decades', 'in manufacturing sector') and awkward phrasing ('reached with similar level of healthcare'). Some sentences are slightly run-on, which impacts the overall grammatical control. While the errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. More attention to articles and prepositional usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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