Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given graph illustrated detail about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the america between the year 1960 and 2020 .
Overall there were four sectors such as : Manufacturing Retail , Agriculture , Healthcare . Manufacturing had a highest of jobs, while comparing Agriculture had a least number of jobs and decrease slightly in 2020 .
Manufacturing had a highest number of jobs , it was about 15 billion and it decrease below 15 billions ,while contrast Agriculture had a smallest number of jobs above 5 billions and once more drop towards year 2020 ,it was lower than 5 billions .
While contrast retail it was above 5 billions and rose slightly in 2020 and increase about 15 billions, while collact healthcare it was least beneath 5 billions and expand towards the year 2020 ,it was approximately 15 billions .it extend slightly . Manufacturing was fluctuated yearly ..
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the four sectors, but the reporting of data is inaccurate and confusing. For instance, you state Manufacturing was 'about 15 billion', which is a significant misinterpretation of the scale. The overview is weak, as it merely lists the sectors rather than identifying the main trends, such as the growth in Healthcare and Retail versus the decline in Agriculture. Comparisons are attempted but are often unclear due to the inaccurate data reporting. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant trends (e.g., the crossover points or the overall growth/decline) and ensure that the figures cited accurately reflect the information provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive and awkward phrasing. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'while' and 'in contrast', but they are often applied incorrectly or mechanically, making the flow disjointed. For example, 'While contrast retail it was above 5 billions' is grammatically and logically confusing. The use of referencing is also weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the sectors. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one to create a cohesive narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'number of jobs', 'highest', and 'least'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'collact healthcare' (likely meant 'collectively' or 'concerning') and 'it extend slightly'. The use of 'billions' is also incorrect in the context of job numbers, which likely refer to millions. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To improve, learn specific terminology for describing trends, such as 'upward trend', 'significant growth', 'remained stable', or 'declined steadily', and ensure you use appropriate units of measurement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There is a lack of control over basic grammatical structures. You frequently omit articles (e.g., 'in america'), misuse verb tenses (e.g., 'Manufacturing had a highest'), and struggle with sentence construction. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'Manufacturing was fluctuated yearly ..'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before periods and commas. While some simple sentences are understandable, the frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and word order impede the clarity of the report. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
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